Outsmart Your Self-Doubt And Conquer Your Inner Saboteur
The journey of showing up, taking action, and being consistent is one of many pitfalls, failure and fear. Most of this journey of success is driven by fear. Fear is a double-edged sword either propelling your forward as a negative behaviour driver OR stopping you. The latter is far more common, where you become the antithesis of your success.
The Inner Saboteur is the shadow of self that protects from the change that your soul seeks on this journey. It is essentially you protecting yourself from your dreams or the possibility of them manifesting. - check out the previous article on Pre-Failing, how we sabotage ourselves before we start - if you have not checked this out please do.
Challenging Comfort Zones for Growth
Our human nature seeks comfort and familiarity, often causing us to resist change and stay within the boundaries of what is known and comfortable. This natural inclination can hinder personal growth as it prevents us from stepping out of our comfort zones and embracing new challenges. As much as we may desire growth and development, the fear of the unknown and the discomfort associated with change can be overwhelming. When we allow this fear to control us, we become stagnant and fail to reach our full potential. Overcoming this tendency requires understanding the underlying reasons for seeking comfort and actively working to break free from its grasp. By embracing discomfort and taking risks, we open ourselves up to new experiences and opportunities for growth. It is only through the willingness to step outside our comfort zones that we can truly expand our horizons and achieve personal growth.
The Power of Childhood Conditioning
For instance, if a child grows up in an environment where their accomplishments are constantly belittled or ignored, they may develop a deep-seated belief that they are not worthy of success. This belief can then follow them into adulthood, causing them to shy away from taking risks or pursuing their passions. Similarly, if a child is raised in a household that emphasizes the importance of conformity and discourages individuality, they may struggle to embrace their true selves and instead strive to fit into societal moulds.
Our childhood experiences shape the lenses through which we view ourselves and the world, dictating our beliefs and opinions about our capabilities and worthiness. These early impressions leave a profound impact on our identities, guiding our choices and shaping our paths in life. It is crucial, therefore, to recognize the power of childhood experiences and actively challenge and reshape any negative beliefs that hinder our growth and potential.
Essentially: The opinions we form about ourselves during our early years can significantly impact our self-perception and behaviour and Unconscious patterns established in childhood can manifest as self-sabotaging behaviours later in life.
How do we heal from this? Well maybe this in-depth dive into Inner Child healing, can give you your step 1…
Practical Things you can do to curb your self-doubt
Stop consuming negative information and thoughts.
Start exposing yourself to positive and empowering information.
Seek guidance from a mentor or coach to identify and remove negative influences from your life.
Your self-opinion determines your level of achievement.
Self-love is essential for receiving love from others.
Your environment has a significant impact on your behaviour and success.
Choose your friends wisely.
Take charge of your life and be the protagonist, not an extra.
Be the embodiment of the change you desire.
The Influence of Habits and the Unconscious Mind
Our conscious decision-making capacity is limited, while our unconscious mind governs the majority of our actions. Habits, formed by the unconscious mind, play a significant role in our behaviour and decision-making. These habits act as automatic responses, allowing us to navigate through the complexities of life without expending too much cognitive effort. However, the challenge lies in the fact that these habits are often deeply ingrained and may no longer serve our best interests. Becoming aware of our unconscious patterns and consciously reprogramming them is essential for personal growth. By shining a light on these invisible forces, we can better understand ourselves, make more intentional choices, and ultimately forge a path that aligns with our true desires and aspirations. It is through this conscious awareness that we unlock our fullest potential.
Habits dictate our lives more so than we may think. The simple truth is that most people are unaware that they are recycling the same thoughts. It has been said that by the time we are 35 years old, up to 90% of what we think, feel and do is recycled from our past. At first, this can sound a bit depressing. It is true, we are creatures of habit and as such tend to take the path of least resistance whenever possible. We develop beliefs and habits of behaviour pertaining to our relationships, money, career, health, driving, dressing, fitness and our bodies. We then look to confirm and validate these beliefs in our everyday experiences. Habits are helpful in the case of driving a car, mastering a work skill or learning a computer program, however, they can be highly limiting when applied to our relationships, bodies or happiness levels. This is one reason why many people set the same goals each year about getting fit and eating healthy. Rest assured, change is absolutely possible, yet to stop recycling old eating or exercising habits, you need to understand how to rewire your brain.
Stress, a the path of Resistance
In line with understanding how the path of least resistance works regarding outdated beliefs, it also points to the self-sabotaging potential of stress. Stress is a major saboteur of healthy neural plasticity. In its true-to-form plastic nature, the brain changes into what it’s most influenced by. Consequently, because of the predominance of chronic stress, the analytical brain is highly influenced by the emotional brain. Chronic Stress is directly correlated to dendritic shortening in the medial prefrontal cortex and dendritic growth of neurons in the basolateral Amygdala ((Vyas, Mitra, Rao & Chattarji, 2002)).
A note on the Amygdala: This part of the brain activates the fight-or-flight response. When that part of your brain senses danger, it signals your brain to pump stress hormones, preparing your body to either fight for survival or to flee to safety.
Fight-or-flight response is more likely to be triggered by emotions such as stress, fear, anxiety, aggression, and anger.
The repetition and emotional intensity of the stress response easily overrides feeble attempts at positivity; instead, the analytical brain changes in structure to match the stress.
Norman Doidge refers to this phenomenon:
Neuroplasticity has the power to produce more flexible but also more rigid behaviours—a phenomenon I call “the plastic paradox.” Ironically, some of our most stubborn habits and disorders are products of our plasticity. Once a particular plastic change occurs in the brain and becomes well-established, it can prevent other changes from occurring. It’s by understanding both the positive and negative effects of plasticity that we can truly understand the extent of human possibilities.
Lasting change relies on the support of the nervous system. In today's world, stress remains constant, with various factors contributing to its prevalence. These stressors include immigration, safety concerns, discrimination, acts of terrorism, climate change, sexual harassment, financial worries, workplace stress, and pressures from social media
Around 75%–90% of doctor visits in the United States are in some way related to stress.
(American Institute of Stress)
Stress proves to be one of the most significant issues among the population, especially the working class. In the case of stress in America, the statistics show frightening results. Stress-related illnesses include depression, anxiety, acne, high blood pressure, constipation, insomnia, and so on. It makes sense that a person would seek help from a medical professional when suffering from stress-related issues.
To effectively address stress, it is crucial to employ self-awareness and self-regulation strategies that specifically target the regulation of the nervous system. These strategies play a vital role in diffusing stress and rewiring neural pathways. Neurogenesis describes the process by which new neurons are formed in the brain. Neurogenesis is crucial when an embryo is developing, but also continues in certain brain regions after birth and throughout our lifespan.
Some of the mind-body practices we use include meditation, eft, somatic-based therapy, NLP and breath.
The Power of Environment and Programming
The environment we inhabit and the individuals we choose to surround ourselves with wield considerable influence over our beliefs and behaviours. Our interactions with the world, whether through the media we consume or the social circles we engage with, shape our perception of both external and internal factors. By taking an active role in curating our environment, we have the power to reprogram our mindset for success. Selecting sources of media that promote positivity, growth, and knowledge can enrich our understanding of the world while surrounding ourselves with supportive and like-minded individuals can foster personal growth and the pursuit of our goals. Ultimately, by consciously choosing the influences in our lives, we take a step towards aligning our beliefs and behaviours with our aspirations, leading us on a path towards being the cause or effect in our lives.
Aligning Intentions with your Environment
Intention alone, while powerful in its own right, is not enough to overcome the overwhelming influence of our environment. Our desires and goals can quickly be overshadowed and rendered ineffective if we are constantly surrounded by an environment that is contradictory or unsupportive. The world we inhabit, from the people we interact with to the places we frequent, possesses immense power to shape our thoughts, actions, and ultimately our outcomes. If our environment does not align with our intentions and aspirations, it becomes increasingly difficult to achieve lasting change. In order to truly overcome these obstacles, we must intentionally create an environment that supports and nurtures our goals, ensuring that our intentions are not only heard but also given a platform to thrive.
Let’s take a moment and reflect…
Do you want to believe in your self-doubt and feed the narrative that keeps your dreams at bay?
What would you rather believe? That it is possible or not?
What would create enough confidence for you to try for your goal?
Confidence only comes during and AFTER we’ve done something hard.
After we’ve put skin in the game, been brave and handled all the trying and failing.
After we’ve grown a bit.
If you practice self-doubt, that’s what you’ll get.
If you practice going beyond it, that’s what you’ll get.
Acquiring external skills or knowledge without personal growth and self-mastery can lead to a hollow existence. Success in the external world may bring temporary fulfilment, but true contentment and a sense of purpose can only come from within. Personal growth involves understanding ourselves, unveiling our strengths and weaknesses, and constantly pushing the boundaries of our comfort zones. It allows us to develop emotional intelligence, resilience, and a greater connection with others. By prioritising personal growth and self-mastery, we cultivate a solid foundation that enables us to navigate challenges, embrace change, and ultimately lead a more authentic and fulfilling life.
A Ptactical Approach to understanding your inner saboteur and overcoming self-sabotage
“Self- Doubt, and Self- Sabotage all come back to how you view yourself. Starting at the root of the mechanic.”
Step 1 - Build your self-confidence through small attainable tasks and goals - woodwork, cleaning up the house getting a workout in will build trust a regulate the nervous system
Step 2 - Reframe Difficult things - maybe you have to complete your taxes, or do invoices - try shifting from I have to do this to , I get to do this and focus on what it feels like when it’s completed
Step 3 - Confidence only happens when you take action - show up, do it to the best of your ability each day
Step 4 - Make Decisions - Don’t sit and over-evaluate everything, when you overthink, you get stuck in the cycle of ‘Pre-failing’ and you will activate your Flight- Fight Response. Decide and move.
This is one of the few times where you need to really look at yourself and ask if are you living on the Cause or Effect side of your life? There is not way around this only through it.
Conclusion
In our cultural belief system, we tend to think that our actions determine our emotions and vice versa. We feel pressured, stressed, guilty, or ashamed when we don't do what we believe we should, and we rely on these ‘feelings’ to motivate ourselves.
However, over the years I have realized that our actions and our emotions are actually two separate things with no direct cause-and-effect relationship. I had experienced moments of taking action despite feeling stressed, as well as moments of inactivity despite feeling at ease. It became evident that feeling great or feeling uncomfortable doesn't necessarily dictate our level of productivity. It suddenly became clear to me that the simple truth is this: When we take action, things get done; when we don't, they usually don't.
On a core level, I knew this and I would often encourage my coaching clients to complete tasks instead of dwelling on their procrastination. Surprisingly, once they took action, even the most challenging tasks, like doing taxes or tackling difficult conversations, would miraculously get done without any psychological changes on their part.
At the end of the day, what gets accomplished is primarily determined by our actions and has very little to do with how we feel.
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Title: "Neural Plasticity: 4 Steps to Change Your Brain" Author: Authenticity Associates Website: https://www.authenticityassociates.com/neural-plasticity-4-steps-to-change-your-brain/
Doidge, N. (2007). The brain changes itself. Stories of personal triumph from the frontiers of brain science. New York: James H. Silberman Books
Smith, J. (2023). Stress Statistics. DisturbMeNot. Available at: https://disturbmenot.co/stress-statistics/
Rajkomar, A., Oren, E., Chen, K., Dai, A.M., Hajaj, N., Hardt, M., Liu, P.J., Liu, X., Marcus, J., Sun, M., et al. Year: 2017 Title of the document: Scalable and accurate deep learning for electronic health records URL: https://arxiv.org/pdf/1711.09536
