Balancing Business, Life, and Purpose: The Father's Journey to Self-Discovery
The sun rises, and so do you. Another day dawns, filled with responsibilities that range from managing business operations to ensuring your family's happiness. Your phone buzzes with endless notifications, your desk is cluttered with sticky notes reminding you of tasks, and your calendar is blocked out with back-to-back meetings. Yet, amidst this chaos, there's a gnawing feeling deep within you, a sinking sensation of stagnation. You're on a treadmill, constantly running, but never really advancing.
The Widespread Nature of the Problem
This isn't just your story; it's the narrative of countless men and business owners worldwide. A study by the American Psychological Association found that over 50% of adults in the U.S. feel overwhelmed by their daily responsibilities, with a staggering 61% reporting feelings of constant fatigue
You’re the end of the day, you’ve sent that last email. You take a moment, a sigh of relief and possibly one of dread as you have ‘made your kill’ for the day. You worked, you either won or lost the day and now there’s another battle ahead of you.
You have a family, maybe you are fortunate enough for your partner to be at home or you’re both trying to make a home with 2 busy independent individuals. That’s where the overarching weight of responsibility sets in. You’re a dad, a model, a breadwinner but the patience seems spent. Your battery is drained.
Maybe your blood pressure is adding context to the nature of how you’re feeling.
The to-do list didn’t just stop at work, there’s one for home too.
Provide for family ✔
Need to work out ✔
Need to do chores ✔
Need to spend time with kids ✔
Need to connect with partner ✔
Need to make sure I get my head straight for the following day ✔
Need to get to bed at a certain time to ensure I can take on the day ✔
Need to prep for the next day ✔
……
and then you may find yourself overworked, overwhelmed and feeling like this is not sustainable.
Wake, Rinse and Repeat
How do some people get this ‘Balance’ right yet you can’t?
Well, I guess there’s the long and the short answer and I’ll probably go with the latter on this one and expand on the different areas at a later stage.
I am going to quote my old squash coach - go back to basics. How are we able to fit so much in when we are younger? We have a schedule, we have accountability, we view ourselves and even time differently
The big difference between that younger version of yourself and the one that is reading this right now is that more life has been lived, you’re wiser, and more tentative and I am sure that the word ‘responsibility’ bears far more weight and meaning.
The question you should be asking yourself at this moment in time is how can I shift my ideals and expectations around fatherhood, more importantly how I perform in that role?
“My father didn’t tell me how to live. He lived and let me watch him do it.” –Clarence Budington Kelland
So here is another approach, to help you better manage the one above, whilst being present and far less in your head or default ‘father mode’.
Reflect on Your Childhood: Think about your relationship with your own father or male parental figure. Consider how their parenting style and values might be influencing your own approach.
Observe Your Parenting Behavior: Pay attention to your actions as a father. Notice any recurring patterns or emotional reactions in your interactions with your children.
Seek Feedback: Ask for input from your partner, friends, or family members to gain outside perspectives on your parenting style
Set Positive Goals: Define the type of father you want to be and the values you want to instil in your children.
Break Negative Patterns: If you identify negative patterns from your upbringing, make an effort to change them and adopt healthier parenting techniques.
Cultivate Positive Traits: Embrace and nurture positive qualities from your model of fatherhood that you want to pass on to your children.
Be Open to Learning: Recognize that understanding your model of fatherhood is an ongoing process, and be open to learning and growing as a parent.
Be Patient: Give yourself time and patience as you work on becoming the best possible father for your children.
If all the above feels like it’s still a lot to practice, focus on being the role model you needed when you were a kid, someone who is patient, kind, firm and accountable. Your words should follow your actions, not the other way around.
“A boy needs a father to show him how to be in the world. He needs to be given swagger, taught how to read a map so that he can recognize the roads that lead to life and the paths that lead to death, how to know what love requires, and where to find steel in the heart when life makes demands on us that are greater than we think we can endure.” – Ian Morgan Cron
As the curtain descends on this narrative, it's essential to remember that the journey of fatherhood, like life itself, isn't merely about the roles we play or the lists we tick off. It is, at its core, a profound exploration of the self.
Beyond the challenges of balancing business with familial duties lies a broader question: Who are you when the lights go off, when the audience of society isn't watching? Are you the sum of your roles, or is there a deeper essence, an intrinsic self that yearns for purpose, understanding, and growth?
Life isn't meant to be a repetitive cycle of tasks, no matter how noble or necessary they may seem. If you find yourself caught in a loop, it’s an invitation — an invitation to pause, to reflect, to dive into the depths of your being. It's a call to ask the bigger questions about not just fatherhood or business, but about existence, purpose, and legacy.
What are the stories you tell yourself? How do they shape your reality? Are they narratives of growth, love, and understanding, or are they scripts of exhaustion, repetition, and disillusionment? Remember, stories have power. They can either confine you or set you free.
It's time to embark on the most critical journey of all: the journey into yourself. It is only by understanding ourselves that we can truly understand our roles, our aspirations, and our place in this vast tapestry of existence.
Change isn't just a necessity; it's an inevitability. But intentional change, driven by self-inquiry and purpose, is transformative. It allows us to break the chains of familial patterns, and habits and rediscover the wonder, joy, and profound purpose of living.
So, as you forge your path, I urge you to take a moment. Pause. Breathe. Reflect. Dive deep into the ocean of your soul and seek out the pearls of wisdom that lie within. For it's in this sacred space of introspection that you will find the answers to not just balancing business, life, and purpose, but truly living them.
I invite you, dear reader, to embark on this quest of self-discovery. For in seeking, we find; and in understanding, we are reborn.
And if the journey calls you and you seek respite, reach out.
Till our paths cross again, tread lightly, reflect deeply, and live purposefully.
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