Why is it that we procrastinate? The more we think the less we do.

I believe that there is a point in life where we want to be able to choose our struggles, maybe we move to another country and have to learn a language, or change careers, or move closer to our kid’s school to waste less time on commuting and traffic. We all have the option to choose, to select our battles, it’s binary in a sense, black and white, give and take. You can have it all, but it will cost you.

Throw in your inner critic, the conditioned, resounding voice in your mind and you may not even have the opportunity to create the change or to take any form of action. You will get stuck, you will overthink, and you will doubt yourself and possibly your worth.

Do any of these situations sound familiar?

• If you find yourself consistently absent from meetings,

• Failing to finish tasks, lacking a sense of purpose or ambition,

• Neglecting yourself, not wanting to workout or lose weight

• Hesitating to pursue things that excite you, new ventures, travel etc

• You are essentially impeding the progress and transformation you desire in your life.

Procrastination and Self-Sabotage

Despite one’s intellectual disposition, many people tend to procrastinate and engage in self-sabotaging behaviours. This paradox raises questions about why self-motivated individuals often hinder their own progress. Why would this be the case? The sheer presence of our human nature, comprising of self-doubt and fear can undermine even the most capable individuals. No matter what your IQ may be, this will still be an area to tussle with in your personal and work life.

Self Doubt is sabotaging not only your growth but your overall satisfaction of your life.

Is there something you want to achieve that you’re just not showing up for right now? Self-doubt arises naturally any time we want to move to the next level. It’s very uncomfortable and causes most people to back off their goal.

Self-doubt is a “lack of confidence in oneself and one’s abilities”.  When it’s habitual, it fosters personality traits of low self-esteem and poor self-care. It manifests as what we now call imposter syndrome, where we doubt our own accomplishments to such an extent that we fear being ‘found out’ as frauds.

Perhaps we look upon someone else’s Insta-life and feel woefully inadequate. We might hide away in shame and fear of rejection.

Left unchecked, self-doubt can turn into self-hatred and the downward spiral in to anxiety, depression, addiction and so on.

However…. humans are designed to acquire wisdom, skills and experience over time, so we also feel compelled forward, to grow towards the light. We will always want to be better than we are.

This growth impulse then triggers more self-doubt, which is our brain’s way of telling us not to change. Staying safe in the cave, just as we are, is effortless, comfy, reassuring and ultimately stagnant.

In personal or business growth terms, self-doubt translates into “Please don’t fail and look like an idiot.” We never become vulnerable by being a beginner. We don’t evolve. That’s the price we pay when we give in to the inner critic. Sounds familiar?

How does the Brain Handle Self-Doubt?

The experience of self-doubt is often most pronounced when we encounter new situations or circumstances. This internal struggle is rooted in fear, as our brain instinctively seeks to shield us from negative emotions. As discussed in a previous article on fear, the brain's primary goal is to ensure our survival, and fear serves as a crucial mechanism in this process. It acts as an ancient, mostly automatic alarm system within our bodies, alerting us to potential threats that could compromise our well-being.

Thousands of years ago, when our brains were still evolving, fear primarily revolved around physical harm and death. Nowadays, fear manifests in various forms, with perceived threats extending beyond physical danger. Some individuals perceive the biggest threat as experiencing negative thoughts such as shame, rejection, or regret. For others, the fear may be centred around threats to their ego, self-worth, sense of belonging, or the fear of scarcity. This intricate connection between self-doubt and fear becomes apparent as our bodies interpret doubt as a form of fear.

Within our brain, there are two main components that influence our thought processes—the conscious mind and the subconscious mind. The conscious mind is governed by the prefrontal cortex, a region located behind the forehead. This area handles decision-making, self-control, willpower, and behaviour regulation, but it doesn't fully mature until after puberty. On the other hand, the subconscious mind is fully developed at birth and is controlled by the basal ganglia, responsible for emotions, habits, behaviour, basic instincts, and more.

Fear and self-doubt are automatic or ingrained responses created by our brain based on the thoughts we consistently provide it. These are subconscious or habitual responses to the world around us. Again we come back to a world of thought that is either leading us to be the cause of our reality or live in the effect of our circumstances

The Art of the Pre-fail

Here’s a share from one of my personal clients - her name has been changed with some details around the story.

Sarah is a driven individual who had a vision to start her own business. She has a strong entrepreneurial spirit and is passionate about her idea. However, as Sarah began taking steps towards launching her business, self-doubt starts to creep in.

Sarah's mind became filled with questions and worries: "What if my idea isn't unique enough?", "Will I be able to compete with established businesses?", "Am I ready for the challenges ahead?" These thoughts create a cloud of uncertainty, causing her to hesitate and hold back from fully committing to her venture.

The pre-fail in Sarah's journey lies in her self-sabotaging mindset. The fear of failure and the unknown outcomes lead her to question her abilities and second-guess her decision. Instead of embracing the potential for success and growth, Sarah becomes stuck in a cycle of overthinking and inaction.

In this scenario, the pre-fail illustrates the power of self-doubt and how it can hinder progress and potential success in starting a business. It highlights the importance of overcoming self-sabotage by cultivating confidence, embracing the unknown, and taking calculated risks to turn dreams into reality.

A pre-fail can also be seen as an assumption about the reality, the endeavour you may be wanting to go ahead with. Even without proof related to that specific event you may find a ‘why’ not to do it

Remember, self-doubt is a natural part of any endeavour, but recognizing and addressing it is key to breaking free from the pre-fail cycle and unlocking one's full potential.

When self-doubt causes us to pre-fail at something new, we gift ourselves a golden set of Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free cards.

We can:

• Argue that we could or would have achieved the thing if we’d been there

• Blame others that they made it too hard for us to achieve the thing

• Say it wasn’t our thing anyway

• Avoid tall poppy syndrome (Australian for “a perceived tendency to discredit or disparage those who have achieved notable wealth or prominence in public life.”)

Pre-failing is a cushion for your ego, you can do it in private, you do not need to ‘actually try’ and pursue whatever it may be.

Self-doubt is:

• Gathering proof of previous shortcomings and feigning their significance for your forthcoming endeavours.

• Neglecting to prioritize your own needs and aspirations.

• Remaining complacently trapped in your current circumstances.

• Failing to evolve and accomplish fresh objectives.

• Neglecting to foster confidence and self-reliance.

• Withholding your full potential and depriving others of your genuine self.

• Evading a splendid and authentic future.

When you live from possibility, you live from the future.

As opposed to living from certainty, which is living from the past.

Brene Brown

The Possible Cause of Self-Doubt:

• Childhood conditioning - see inner child healing for more info about this

• The fear of being evaluated,

• A sense of inadequacy,

• Doubts about our intelligence or qualifications (imposter syndrome),

• Apprehension towards change,

• The fear of failure, undervaluing our own significance compared to others,

• A belief that we are undeserving of success,

• Uncertainty regarding our capability to achieve success,

• A lack of self-trust, and a tendency to diminish ourselves with thoughts like,

• "Who am I to pursue this endeavour?"

How do we ACTUALLY stop procrastinating and self-sabotaging ourselves?

This is covered more extensively in the following post - Outsmart your Self-Sabotage and Conquer your Inner Saboteur

If you want to continue self-sabotaging yourself, you can finish this article in the meantime. Here is something to consider.

If we can recognise the resources and opportunities around every corner of today’s world. Such as tech, Web 3.0 and AI have made sure that information and communication are at an all-time high, yet despite these incredible advancements, many individuals find themselves stuck in a cycle of limited progress, or more importantly limited decision-making. The notion of being submerged in water, peering upwards, the thin film of water that holds the surface together. Many of us stop just before we break through, we see the light, yet something just stops us. Overcoming these barriers requires a deeper understanding of how to break through and reach our full potential.

HOW DO WE Unleash the Power of Resourcefulness?

It is a common misconception to believe that success is solely determined by the availability of resources and opportunities. While these factors undoubtedly play a role, they are not the sole determinants of achievement. Countless individuals have been blessed with abundant resources, yet their lack of ambition or drive hinders them from making the most of what they have. On the contrary, there are those who, despite having limited resources, harness their determination and ingenuity to surpass expectations and accomplish extraordinary feats. Success, therefore, stems from within – personal motivation, resilience, and unwavering dedication to make the most of any situation. It is not the number of resources that guarantees success, but rather the mindset and sheer willpower that drives one towards the exceptional accomplishment

The simple answer is choice. Are you willing to choose the pain of inaction and staying where you are? or take action and progress forward?

The following article - Outsmart Your Self-Sabotage and Conquer your Inner Saboteur - will give you a better understanding the mechanic and take action.

Remember, It’s safer not to articulate our dreams, so no one knows if we failed to achieve them.

By abstaining from making an effort, you are essentially pre-emptively failing.